


Buzz Words

by redteekal



Category: The X-Files
Genre: Domestic Fox Mulder/Dana Scully, Drunk Fox Mulder, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28119159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redteekal/pseuds/redteekal
Summary: Mulder and Scully are on the couch, imbibing in alcohol. Mulder's command of language is questioned and he answers the question enthusiastically. Probably set around Season 6 or 7. Prompted by my brain that wanted to see a conversation between them that included the words "bossy" and "short". My first attempt at an X-Files fic.
Relationships: Fox Mulder/Dana Scully
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	Buzz Words

Mulder doesn’t usually over indulge when it comes to alcohol. It messes too much with his ability to maintain control over his mental faculties. But on occasion, when he’s with Scully, in a familiar and comforting environment with no sense of immediate doom hanging over his head (or Scully’s) he likes to let the warmth and low level buzz radiate out a bit further through his body. 

He's currently doing just that, draped over Scully's couch, on his stomach. Jeans and a sweater with his size 12 Jordans hanging off the end of the couch, carefully guarding his tumbler of Jack Daniels on the floor, fingers steepled around the glass forming a protective cage.

Scully walks through, beer in hand and comes to a halt. She frowns at the glass on the floor.

“Mulder.”

“Mmmfff?”

“Drinks go on tables.”

Mulder grips the tumbler across the top and raises it up level with his head, face pushed sideways into one of Scullys ubiquitous throw cushions.

“Not this one Scully. This one is special.”

He doesn’t need to look at her to know the arch and the eye roll are activated.

“Heymmm..” he admonishes, only mildly slurring, “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice....it’s true.”

That statement is rewarded with a huff and shove on his ankles to get him to swing his inordinately long legs to the floor as she plonks herself down, beer still in hand. 

“One does not look in a tone Mulder...I think Mr Daniels has left you with some impairment to your higher brain function - namely coherent sentence forming.”

“Pishhh Scully...I’ll have you know that Jack and I have a relationship built on articulate and eloquent verbosity. Our loquaciousness knows no bounds.” 

He beams proudly about this announcement and gives a satisfied harrumph as if Scully should be utterly impressed by his command of the English language. He holds his glass out to clink her beer in honour of such a skill display. Scully stares at him for several beats leaving him hanging, with a look of bemused disbelief at his ridiculousness. She relents eventually after he raises his eyebrows in mock hurt at the rejection and she taps her bottle against his glass. His responding “I won that one” smile to himself is totally worth it. Their wins are few and far between so she embraces them all, even his adorably silly boyish-like victories about nothing. 

She does not embrace his bad bachelor habits though and tells him off about putting his glass on the table without a coaster. Scully does not appreciate moisture rings on her coffee table. 

“Dammit Mulder can you just use a coaster...they’re right there!” She gestures to the small stack of 4 coasters on the table by her single armchair. 

“But I can’t reach them over there....and I’m comfortable right here”, he mumbles as he slowly topples and leans sideways into her.

She shoves at his arm, ineffectively trying to get him to get up and go get the coaster from the side table near the single arm chair. He resists by leaning more of his weight onto her. She responds by reaching over him and pinching his side under his rib cage. Mulder responds instantly to that stimuli.

“Hey!!! Owww!! That’s mean!” 

As he rights himself and gets to his feet rubbing his side. Scully notices that he’s not one hundred percent balanced, he has a bit of a list sideways and she realises he’s probably a bit more inebriated than she first thought. Mulder glares at her in mock anger before attempting to stomp over to where the coasters are. Muttering something about neat freaks and stroppy red heads. The stomping loses any impact when he stumbles and falls into the armchair, where he just rolls with it like he totally meant to get his face up close and personal with the upholstery. Scully lets out a laugh at this and she’s grinning so wide when he turns to face her he starts laughing himself ...her amusement contagious. Scully doesn’t let the comedic moment distract her though. She points at his un coastered glass on the table with a firm expression,

“Coaster Mulder...or I’m tipping your drink down the sink.”

Mulder rolls his eyes, huffs at her but complies, grabbing a coaster, lurching to his feet and heading to his drink where he overly exaggerates his very careful placement of his drink on said coaster before giving her a pointed “there...are you happy now” look. She just gives him a beautific smile like he’s just given her a present and he glances away and shakes his head with a half smirk and smile on his face. He heads back round to the couch and curses when he knocks his knee on the corner of the coffee table as he plonks down next to her.

“Perhaps you’ve had enough of Jack for tonight Mulder.”

Mulder turns his head to look at her, she sees him assessing her for some reason like she’s said something that needs to be ruminated on.

“What?” She asks.

“Scully?” He’s using that tone that says he’s about to reveal something to her. It makes her a little anxious and anticipatory at the same time. She raises her eyebrows, watching his profile.

“You’re quite bossy aren’t you?” There’s a pause, then almost as if it is an afterthought , “And short.”

He says it like he’s only just reached this revelation himself. He looks so thoughtfully contemplative and earnest about this announcement that instead of taking offence she bursts out laughing at him. He is definitely intoxicated. And completely charming and adorable with it. He looks at her, a faint frown of puzzlement on his face. She leans over, places her beer on the side table (on a coaster of course), turns to him and reaches up to hold his face in her palms. She waits as his focus narrows to look her in the eye. 

“Yes Mulder I am absolutely both of those things, and both of those things have helped me save your ass on more than one occasion so I am glad you have noticed.” 

A grin spreads across her face as she speaks. Keeping her palms cupping his face she kneels up on the couch and gives him a kiss on his nose. He has a soft look of wonder on his face when she pulls back, a smile stretching wide on his face. His hands reach up and tug her hands to his lips as he feathers kisses over them. Then, as if to reaffirm his earlier convictions he tells her,

“And I am completely enamoured by your compelling assertiveness and beguiled by your sublimely perfect diminutive stature.”

Scully giggles delightedly at this latest stream of words to smoothly roll off his tongue and shakes her head in astonishment that he’s still able to do this despite being clearly effected by the alcohol. Mulder is always managing to surprise her and it’s one of the things she loves best about him. She reaches out and picks his tumbler up, settles back onto the couch, burrowing herself right along side of him, under his arm. She holds his glass out for him. Scully feels him looking at her, curiosity at this gesture emanating from him. 

“Drink your Mr Daniels Mulder....then tell me some more about your clearly intuitive and highly astute observations.”

He takes his glass from her, presses a kiss to the side of her forehead, partakes in a long drawn out sip of his Jack Daniels and settles in to make Scully laugh, giggle and smile that gorgeous, infectious smile as many times as he can before the need for sleep overtakes his senses.


End file.
